Some people measure the value of an activity in monetary terms, others might assess by losses or gains (pounds and inches for instance), and still others look for more intrinsic change (character development). Be careful not to look for progress in comparison to another, but instead to an individual's past, present, and potential.
I smile when a parents exclaims how much money they spent for their child's dancing. I want to say right back how much time I spent on the planning, execution of their child's lessons, how I delicately chose my timing and wording to coach their child through challenges, how much physical strain I put my body under to demonstrate over and over again or to maneuver their body so that he / she can feel the proper placement or action, and how much sleep I lost in caring about their child's development. Instead, I just smile and try to say something to lighten the mood, like "It beats the high cost of drug rehab or mental health care."
Defenses aside, I understand everyone, including myself, wants a bang for their buck. Getting something for our time and money is the American way. Measuring growing skill is easy enough...strength of character, not so much. Measuring the quality of incremental changes of the body is tricky for the layman. Noticing if a child's arm movements can express romantic, classical or neo-classic choreography is hard for parents to distinguish. For instance, when watching her child during an observation class, one parent said, noticing the subtle differences is like watching paint dry. I get it. I would feel the same watching someone program a computer. If parents are able to notice improvements in physical ability, they feel like there is progress worth paying for; however, many times improvements are hardly visible. It is common for growth to appear stagnant while the new skills take hold, and before the next step forward is obvious. If a parent chooses that plateau period in their child's participation to determine if there is any value in their child's lessons, they could be disheartened and miss the long-term worth of what is likely to blossom with time and experience.
It is even more difficult to measure changes in mind and spirit. These intrinsic parts of growth show up not necessarily where you might think you would see them. Confidence, courage, patience, tenacity (to name a few) appear when we least expect them. My own daughter who studied dance through her childhood says she is thankful for her dance training that made earning her second college degree sufferable when her peers faded into the background. She credits her persistence, her attention to detail and self assuredness from her years in dance carrying over to her new profession. I believe most parents realize such return on their investment and continue to allow their child to participate season after season.
If a child does not seem to measure up when a parent needs reassurance regarding spending their time and money well, their chances are interrupted with parental doubt if not curtailed all together. It is too early to call the score. Children do not know how to defend their efforts and interests when they are not demonstrating growth. Teachers / coaches are perceived as leading a parent on when progress seems small. Parenting patience is what is needed. For how long, you might ask? I say, for as long as it takes. We do not like it when people give up on us, so we ought not give up on our most precious children.
Have you ever watched one of those NASCAR races that go on and on and on? Sometimes it appears that the cars are glued together traveling in circles. No one is getting ahead. Then suddenly a driver edges out over another, but wait ...there is a crash and several cars go down in flames. Later, different cars stop periodically into their pit for retooling. By the end of the race, the one we assumed was best wasn't, and another driver came from behind to win! There are endless anecdotes on tortoise and hare scenarios.
Just as the driver in the lead and the driver in the back of the pack change, children change with ability over the years. Remember during your childhood some years you may have had trouble with math and other years your were good at it. Staying the course is the key. I have helped many ducklings become swans over the years. When a family decides not to continue their lessons with me, I feel like I have been judged on work unfinished even if it is at the end of a semester. My relationship with most students is from the age of 3 or 4 until 16-19 years old (depending if I can place them with a company school). It is said it takes 10 years to make a dancer or a person with dancer attributes. I plan to invest at least a decade with each and every student. When a student's training is interrupted, my commitment to the student seems tossed aside. Instead a measure of trust, a duration of patience, and good communication go a long way in taking actual stock of the real value in any child's participation in an activity. A glance at where the student started, is now, and where / what are the next goals is a good place to begin.
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